Personal Reflections; A tribute to my father Z'L

The following was said this past Saturday night at a Siyum I made in memory of my father Z'L

This coming week on the sixth day of AdarI we will commemorate the 28th Yartziet of my father Z'L. The Hebrew word for strength Koach has the numerical value of 28. The day my father passed away, I was in Israel during my year long study after high school in Yeshivat Sha'lavim. When I found out the news of his passing I was immediately taken to speak with the Rosh Yeshiva Rav Meir Schlesinger. What he told me then I have  used  as a basis for my own faith and strength during the difficult times that I and my family have faced over the years.
He told me that G-D gives us the strength needed to overcome the different tests that we are given so that we will pass the tests that are presented to us. I responded that I would have taken this test 20 years from now. Rav Meir responded that 20 years from  now it wouldn't have been the same test. My father was a source of strength and we as a family continue to struggle, but we know we have the strength to pass any test that we are given.

We are now in the month of Adar. Adar is known for the phrase;   "Mishnichnas Adar Marbim B'Simacha"   ( "From the time of the month of Adar we increase our happiness".) On a personal level I have had a hard time understanding this phrase. Adar is the month in which my father passed away and in the past few years in the month in which my mother-in-law passed away as well as two of my wife's grandparents. I believe that the word Simcha needs to mean more than just joy and happiness

It says in "Ethics of our Fathers"; "who is truly one wealthy, one id happy with his lot in life". It uses the word Simcha. There I believe Simcha represents a more still happen when one understands that everything he has comes from G-D. That understanding and acceptance are the only thing that could create true happiness.
What does this happiness have to do with Purim and the month of Adar ?
Rav Hunter explains that Purim is the only holiday that will be celebrated in the exact same way even after the coming of Messiah. This is because the other holidays are a remembrance of the Exodus from Egypt the original redemption, but that would no longer be necessary since we have experienced the ultimate redemption. ( They will still be celebrated not just in the same manner we celebrate them currently in exile) Purim, however which took place in a time when G-D hid his face (in dark days) will always be celebrated since it reminds us of how we need to act even in dark times. If you will it remind us that everything comes from G-D and only with that understanding can we achieve true happiness.

My father lived a simple life and was a simple man. Never did he complain, but rarer accepted with a smile, his lot in life. It wasn't easy in 1976 before it was popular had a heart bypass and a valve transplant surgery.
He was always there for his children, my mother and his parents as well as his friends.
My hope and prayer is that we his children, grandchildren and one day great children can take this lesson and message of Simcha, which my father embodied and be a living tribute to his life and legacy.
Abba you have missed so much and we miss you so much, but I hope that we your children  (including your daughters-in-law and son-in-law) and your grandchildren continue to make you proud and carry on the  legacy of the person you were.
Your Loving Son
Akevy

Looking Forward; The Need to Grow

Picture courtesy of fogcalendar.com

As I have mentioned in my previous two blog posts I am moving forward and as the saying goes keeping focused with my eye on the prize.

A necessity of moving forward  is the ability to grow. I recently finished the book "Great Leaders Grow" by Ken Blanchard and Mark Miller.
They use the following acronym for Growth:

G- Gain Knowledge 

R- Reach out to Others 

O- Open your world 

W- Walk towards Wisdom 

I would like to add my own understanding to these terms, which I believe are so important if we are to achieve our own personal growth and to help us allow our students to grow.

G- Gain Knowledge: We all have to be life long learners and instill that love and passion in our students. As it says in Ethics of our Fathers; "Who is truly wise one who call learn from all".

R-Reach out to Others: If you ask people what is the one skill, our students will need to compete in our global economy on the top of the list is the ability to collaborate and work with others.

O-Open your World: As we learn and grow, we need to make what we teach  relevant and real. Learning is no longer limited to, our classrooms, but rather the world is now our classroom.

W- Walk towards Wisdom: I think this is a given. We always need to be looking to know more, learn more and gain from wisdom of others. As the saying goes, we got to where we are today by standing on the shoulders of those that came before us.

As we continue on our journey, let us remember the importance of Growth and what it means to GROW

Not Losing Focus

I mentioned in my post yesterday that I have been in a rut and honestly, I think I lost some of my focus and motivation. I just finished reading "Causes and Cures in the Classroom" by Margaret Searle.

The book ends with the following; "The dream most of us went into teaching with was to make a significant difference for our students. The way to do that has nothing to do with quick fixes or canned programs. It has to do with teachers who genuinely care and are always looking for better ways to help students help themselves." 

This really spoke to me both about education and about life. Too often we get caught up with what is the latest trend or am I using the most cutting edge tools and technology available. While that is important and we need to be current we can't lose focus on what really counts and why we are educators.
At the end of the day the bottom line as Margaret and others have said is that we need to show students that we care about and as my friend Angela Maiers says we need to show them that they MATTER

I would say that  "Not Losing Focus" is one of those things that is easier said than done and perhaps as I outlined in yesterday's post "Moving Forward" we need to create a checklist.
These ideas are noting new and many of them, I have gleaned from all of you.

• Making SMART goals
• Showing our students and others that We care and that "You Matter"
• Applaud the Effort 
• Don't label, but rather guide and support
• Do something positive every day 
• Take time for yourself 

The list can go on. Please add your own thoughts 

Akevy

Moving Forward

Picture courtesy of lovethispic.com

It has been a while since I posted something on my blog. The last few months have been difficult for me and my family and I didn't have the drive and honestly desire to blog. I got into a rut and was (truthful still am) feeling a bit sorry for myself. I have looked on websites, sent out tweets, made proposal submitted resumes and I still find myself without a job.
Perhaps finally writing about it will give me the energy to move forward and start looking towards the future. I know G-D has a plan and that I didn't devote my life to education (maninly Jewish Education) to stop now.
I have created a short check list to help me and maybe others move forward during this difficult time. I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas as well.

Short Term

• Do something productive/ constructive daily
• Share thoughts and ideas, at least 3 times week via blog, twitter, Facebook etc.
• Keep up on the latest ideas in Education by reading blogs, books and tweets each day
• Continue looking for a  job and promoting my own consulting business and website at www.star-educational-consulting.com

A bit harder 

Stay positive and focus on the future not the past

Long term goal 

Come with an idea and start writing a book of my own

There is no silver bullet and I know this is all easier said than done, but I am hoping as we enter 2014 I too can now look forward to a brighter and better future. 

I would like to thank my family and friends, which includes my PLN for their  constant support and help 

Here's to a brighter and better future 

Akevy 

TO GROW WE NEED TO CHANGE

Here is a message I read yesterday from Rabbi Sacks former Chief Rabbi of the British Common Wealth.
It is a bit long but worth the read.

http://us7.campaign-archive2.com/?u=2a91b54e856e0e4ee78b585d2&id=a8dfdca64a&e=9a5be466d8

The Courage to Grow A Yom Kippur message from Rabbi Sacks

"I vividly remember the surprise and delight I had when I first read Jane Austen's Emma. It was the first time I have read a novel in which you see a character changing over time. Emma is an intelligent young woman who believes she understands other people better than they do. So she sets about arranging their lives – she is an English shadchan – with disastrous consequences, because not only does she not understand others; she does not even understand herself. By the end of the novel, though, she is a different person: older, wiser and humbler. Of course, since this is a Jane Austen story, it ends happily ever after. In the more than 40 years that have passed since I read the book, one question has fascinated me. Where did Western civilisation get the idea that people can change? It is not an obvious idea. Many great cultures have simply not thought in these terms. The Greeks, for instance, believed that we are what we are, and we cannot change what we are. They believed that character is destiny, and the character itself is something we are born with, although it may take great courage to realise our potential. Heroes are born, not made. Plato believed that some human beings were gold, others silver, and others bronze. Aristotle believed that some are born to rule, and others to be ruled. Before the birth of Oedipus, his fate and that of his father, Laius, have already been foretold by the Delphic Oracle, and nothing they can do will avert it. This is precisely the opposite of the key sentence we say on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, that “Teshuvah, tefillah and tzedakah avert the evil decree.” That is what happened to the inhabitants of Nineveh in the story we read at Mincha on Yom Kippur. There was a decree: “In forty days Nineveh will be destroyed.” But the people of Nineveh repent, and the decree is cancelled. There is no fate that is final, no diagnosis without a second opinion – half of Jewish jokes are based on this idea. The more I studied and researched, the more I realised that Judaism was the first system in the world to develop a clear sense of human free will. As Isaac Bashevis Singer wittily put it, “We have to be free; we have no choice.” This is the idea at the heart of teshuvah. It is not just confession, not just saying Al chet shechatanu. It is not just remorse: Ashamnu. It is the determination to change, the decision that I am going to learn from my mistakes, that I am going to act differently in future, that I determined to become a different kind of person. To paraphrase Rabbi Soloveitchik, to be a Jew is to be creative, and our greatest creation is our self. As a result, more than 3000 years before Jane Austen, we see in Torah and in Tanakh, a process in which people change. To take an obvious example: Moshe Rabbenu. We see him at the start of his mission as a man who cannot speak easily or fluently. “I am not a man of words.” “I am slow of speech and tongue.” “I have uncircumcised lips.” But by the end he is the most eloquent and visionary of all the prophets. Moses changed. One of the most fascinating contrasts is between two people who were often thought to resemble one another, indeed were sometimes identified as the same person in two incarnations: Pinchas and Elijah. Both were zealots. But Pinchas changed. God gave him a covenant of peace and he became a man of peace. We see him in later life (in Joshua 22) leading a peace negotiation between the rest of the Israelites and the tribes of Reuben and Gad who had settled on the far side of the Jordan, a mission successfully accomplished. Elijah was no less a zealot than Pinchas. Yet there is a remarkable scene some time after his great confrontation with the prophets of Baal at Mount Carmel. He is at Mount Horeb. God asks him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” Elijah replies, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty.” God then sends a whirlwind, shaking mountain and shattering rocks, but God was not in the wind. Then God sends an earthquake, but God was not in the earthquake. Then God sends fire, but God was not in the fire. Then God speaks in a kol demamah dakah, a still small voice. He asks Elijah the same question again, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” and Elijah replies in exactly the same words as he had done before: “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty.” At that point God tells Elijah to appoint Elisha as his successor (1 Kings 19). Elijah has not changed. He has not understood that God now wants him to exercise a different kind of leadership, defending Israel not criticising it (Rashi). He is asking Elijah to make a similar transformation to the one Pinchas made when he became a man of peace, but Elijah, unlike Pinchas, did not change. Even his words do not change, despite the momentous vision. He had become too holy for this world, so God took him to heaven in a chariot of fire. It was Judaism, through the concept of teshuvah, that brought into the world the idea that we can change. We are not predestined to continue to be what we are. Even today, this remains a radical idea. Many biologists and neuroscientists believe that our character and actions are wholly determined by our genes, our DNA. Choice, character change, and free will, are – they say – illusions. They are wrong. One of the great discoveries of recent years has been the scientific demonstration of the plasticity of the brain. The most dramatic example of this is the case of Jill Bolte Taylor. In 1996, aged 37, she suffered a massive stroke that completely destroyed the functioning of the left hemisphere of her brain. She couldn't walk, talk, read, write, or even recall the details of her life. But she was very unusual in one respect. She was a Harvard neuroscientist. As a result, she was able to realise precisely what had happened to her. For eight years she worked every day, together with her mother, to exercise her brain. By the end, she had recovered all her faculties, using her right hemisphere to develop the skills normally exercised by the left brain. You can read her story in her book, My Stroke of Insight, or see her deliver a TED lecture on the subject. Taylor is only the most dramatic example of what is becoming clearer each year: that by an effort of will, we can change not just our behaviour, not just our emotions, nor even just our character, but the very structure and architecture of our brain. Rarely was there a more dramatic scientific vindication of the great Jewish insight, that we can change. That is the challenge of teshuvah. There are two kinds of problem in life: technical and adaptive. When you face the first, you go to an expert for the solution. You are feeling ill, you go to the doctor, he diagnoses the illness, and prescribes a pill. That is a technical problem. The second kind is where we ourselves are the problem. We go to the doctor, he listens carefully, does various tests, and then says: “I can prescribe a pill, but in the long-term, it is not going to help. You are overweight, underexercised and overstressed. If you don't change your lifestyle, all the pills in the world will not help.” That is an adaptive problem. Adaptive problems call for teshuvah, and teshuvah itself is premised on the proposition that we can change. All too often we tell ourselves we can't. We are too old, too set in our ways. It’s too much trouble. When we do that, we deprive ourselves of God's greatest gift to us: the ability to change. This was one of Judaism's greatest gifts to Western civilisation. It is also God’s call to us on Yom Kippur. This is the time when we ask ourselves where have we gone wrong? Where have we failed? When we tell ourselves the answer, that is when we need the courage to change. If we believe we can't, we won't. If we believe we can, we may. The great question Yom Kippur poses to us is: Will we grow in our Judaism, our emotional maturity, our knowledge, our sensitivity, or will we stay what we were? Never believe we can't be different, greater, more confident, more generous, more understanding and forgiving than we were.  May this year be the start of a new life for each of us. Let us have the courage to grow." This post really resonated with me . I had the opportunity this summer through a grant from the Avi Chai to attend the Harvard summer Principals Institute; Leadership Evolving Vision. One of the speakers we were priviledged  to hear was Robert ( Bob) Kegan who spoke about the idea of technical vs adoptive or tranformitive  challenges. Here are some of the main ideas from that session: A Tranformitive or adoptive change requires a change in mindset and for the person to "step out of established habits of mind' When one makes a an adoptive change the person itself changes According to Kegan one of the biggest issues is that we we try to make an adoptive change by using techincal means. Kegan also mentioned the research done with brain plasiticity and that you "can teach an old dog new tricks" Therefore on a very personal level as I face the new year as a JEW and as an educator who finds one self  in uncharted waters I find my self asking Rabbi Sack's questions,  Will we grow in our Judaism, our emotional maturity, our knowledge, our sensitivity, or will we stay what we were? Never believe we can't be different, greater, more confident, more generous, more understanding and forgiving than we  Therefore as I move forward to answer these questions and face the new challenges I need to grow and change but not just by changing what I say or do but by changing my mindset and I need to view things completely different and leave behind old habits As Rabbi Sacks said may I have the courage to grow and make these changes. I invite you to join me on my journey.

Reflect and Respond

It has been a while since I blogged. One reason is that while I have had a lot on my mind and a lot to blog about I wasn't able to put into words. I sit here hours before the holiest day on the Jewish Calendar Yom Kippur, The day of Atonement.
There is a lot I could say and a lot I can reflect on over the pass year. During this past year my family and I have faced a number of challenges and I know that each challenge is a test and that G-D has given us the tools to pass each challenge and test. .
However as we learn from the laws regarding Yom Kippur and repentance we have to make the effort and take the steps needed. Therefore not only to I sit here and reflect but I respond as well.
I respond with a Thank You first and foremost to G-D for his daily blessings and for all that I have and secondly to my family and friends. I have a loving family, a loving wife who has stood by me during each challenge two beautiful girls who never cease to amaze me on how caring and dedicated they are. I have an  amazing extended family and friends who at times believed more in me than I did.
As I look towards the coming year and hope and pray for a year of health, peace, happiness, and prosperity I know I need to make and effort as well. While I find myself in uncharted waters right  now I know that I will be given the tools and ability to navigate these new waters. To that end I have begun a new venture.
I have always believed in putting the  needs of our students  firsts and we need to give the tools to our teachers and administrations who are super dedicated  and often under appreciated. To that end  I have started Star Educational Consulting

I hope and pray daily that in the coming year I will be a better person, husband, father, and friend.
May this new year be one of peace ,health, happiness and prosperity to all

Akevy

Balance vs Culture

Photo: www.enerchilaser.com -

As part of the Harvard Principals Institute I attended  we needed to share one of the biggest leadership challenges. There are many that we all had and we all had very similar ones but the biggest one for me is trying to create a balance between being open and supportive while at the same time being firm at times and having those difficult conversations. As I look back on my first year in my current position I had this balance to contend with, the Ying and then there was the Yang in  creating a faculty culture of trust, openness and not micro managing. Coming into the position from what I heard the creating this culture was very important. I believe I was successful, one teacher commented that I was easy to talk to since I always had an open door and was open and honest with her. 

However I lost sight of the balance. In an effort to build trust I did away with lesson plans, following the advice of a mentor of mine who  said that  you need to trust the teachers to be professional in the classroom and if you can't trust them then they shouldn't be working for you. I also want to get the teachers to think more about their own learning and what they do in the classroom and not just write down what they had hoped to accomplish. Therefore , I tried faculty reflections but that didn't work. The bottom line was that I swung the pendulum too far and I only focused on one area of faculty culture and lost sight of the balance needed .